Do you keep an umbrella in your car? Do you buy extra batteries for your flashlight? Do you have a fire extinguisher in your kitchen? Do you have a will? If you answered yes to these questions, you are probably the kind of person who likes to be prepared. Of course, you really don't want the weather to turn bad, the lights to go out or the kitchen to catch fire. You certainly don't want to die anytime soon, but planning ahead, just in case, is important to you.
You may feel the same way about your marriage, which is why you want to discuss a prenuptial agreement with your intended. As sensible as the idea sounds to you, you are not alone if you dread approaching the subject with your soon-to-be. Nevertheless, many in your position have found that bearing the awkwardness was worth it in the end.
A simple path to a difficult topic
Just as you don't want your kitchen to catch fire, you likely don't want your marriage to end in divorce. The fire extinguisher in your pantry doesn't increase the chances that your cooking will burn, and a prenuptial agreement does not increase the likelihood that you and your spouse will divorce. Still, it is understandable that your intended may resent the proposal of a prenuptial agreement in the weeks before the wedding, and marital experts say that the way you approach the subject could make all the difference. For example:
- Plan for the right moment. The perfect moment will not come in the middle of an argument or when there are other people around. Find a time when both of you are in the mood to discuss your future.
- Be delicate, but don't dance around the point. Getting to the subject in a sensitive and straightforward manner may prove to your beloved that you are thinking clearly and respecting his or her opinions.
- Be honest about your experiences with other people's marriages and divorces, and your expectations for the future. Experts say these experiences shape our own relationships.
- Listen to your partner's concerns and opinions without getting angry or giving up. This is a wonderful time to reassure your beloved of your commitment and devotion.
If this is the first mention of a prenuptial agreement your intended has heard from you, you should not be surprised if the answer is no. However, this doesn't mean you can't bring the topic up again at another time. You have given your beloved something to think about, and you can be sure that's what will happen.
If you accomplish nothing else by having the conversation, you have shown how well you and your future spouse will be able to discuss difficult topics. A conversation that ended in shouting and tears may indicate a need for better communication skills. However, if your intended comes to you later and agrees to discuss a prenuptial contract with Tennessee attorneys, you may have a positive future ahead of you.